


All We Need Is Somebody to Lean On

by GingerLocks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual super soldiers, Darcy Lewis doesn't mess around, F/M, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Secret Relationship, Smut, Soul Bond, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve rocking a beard and tattoos because of reasons, but damn it I added feeeels, this started out as Porn w/o Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:19:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4993513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerLocks/pseuds/GingerLocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world of soulmates love is supposed to be easy. The universe already marked them for you, all you had to do was wait for fate to bring you together. But the universe fucked up, and not everybody had a mark to help fate guide them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blank Space

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo its smut-(and-fluff)-week.  
> (this chapter is unbeta'd)

 

_***** _

**I do not need someone to complete me  
** **but if you wanted to**  
**we could walk next to each other**  
**into whatever is coming next.**

*****

_"This whole soulmate-hype is overrated." Darcy said, snuggling further into his chest._

_"Yeah?" Steve asked, tracing the ink on her hip with his fingertips._

*****

The soft warmth slipped from between his arms and Steve grumbled in his sleep. He heard a lot of puttering about coming from around him and he reluctantly opened his eyes, unwilling to wake up from his best night’s sleep in years. Darcy was tugging on her underwear under the hastily thrown on dress. The red dress that looked great on her, but better on his floor. He feigned sleep when she turned towards the bed and didn’t bother opening his eyes even as he heard his front door shut.

Of all the people in the world, Darcy Lewis was the last he expected to find at a lonely hearts club. She always radiated just so much love and positivity that she was such a nurturing person altogether that he found it hard to believe she hadn’t found her soulmate yet.

If anyone deserved a soulmate; it was Darcy.

But after returning from an undercover mission with Clint, one where he’d had a full beard, piercings and a body covered in fake tattoos to hide his Captain Apple Pie identity, he’d wanted to use his disguise just one night for selfish reasons. It wasn’t often that he got a night to himself, a night without obligations and without having to be a public person. After the debrief he’d gone to the loud club next to his Brooklyn apartment and lost himself in the loud music and crowd of hot sweaty bodies, not caring about anything other than how the noise and energy helped him shut his brain off in a way alcohol had failed him.

And that’s when he’d seen Darcy drunk-as-a-skunk Lewis literally crashing into him on her way to the bathroom, and for some reason he himself couldn’t quite explain, he’d felt compelled to indulge her when she’d reached up on her tiptoes and dragged his face down to hers.

Maybe it was her soft hands, he reflected later that night as she ran them through his hair, down his neck and over his shoulders. Or the enticing lips she was trailing over his collarbones as he unzipped her dress. Maybe it even was the dress, red and tight in the right places, reminding him of pinups and home.

Or maybe it was the way her eyes were so sad and longing, and their mutual loneliness was a common ground as their bodies met over and over.

He used her and she used him and it was great, it was amazing and for once he did not have to be the gentleman, for once he could let loose and give in, because she let him.

Her cry of pleasure when she reached her second orgasm sent him over too with a guttural moan, not caring how loud he was being. And as they settled under the covers and let sleep take them, he couldn’t let himself feel anything other than fantastic.

*

He did not feel as great in the morning, he might not have been nursing a hangover, but he still felt like shit. He felt used and he didn’t like it, not in the light of day. His stomach gave a loud protest to being ignored for hours so he sighed and got up, hoping she didn’t feel as shitty as he did.

He only made it to the living room before his front door burst open again, revealing Darcy, determined and with a slightly wild expression. He stood still as she chucked her shoes under his key-table and came at him, crashing into him the same moment his front door slammed shut behind her.

This time was just as much teeth, nails and rough need as the night before. Except it was also completely different. There was some sort of undercurrent that took over, and he felt less like he was using her than yesterday, and he also felt less used. And weirdly enough, he liked it.

He carried her back into his bedroom, kicking off his boxers as he went, and he didn’t mind when they moved slower, making the whole experience more intimate than anything he’d had in years.

They spent their morning together like that, with slow caresses, long kisses and well built up orgasms. Steve knew he really should have just turned her away and used Tony’s super-soap to rub his tattooes off instead of inviting her into his shower to get his still tattooed self off.

But when, after Steve’s stomach made even more protests, louder than it had that morning and Darcy came back to bed with what looked like the contents of his fridge, Steve pushed the thought away and helped her balance the tray on his covers.

After his stomach stopped roaring and Darcy had gotten the cup of coffee she’d been craving all day, Steve took his time kissing her all over, slowly sliding his shirt off her shoulders and taking a proper look at her skin, hoping he was discreet.

“You’re not going to find it.” She whispered in his ear, nipping at his earlobe when he paused.

“What?” he whispered back, still frozen with his hands on his shirt. She shrugged out of it and untangled herself from his lose arms. He let his arms fall as she leant back on her elbows, giving him a magnificent view of her breasts.

“My soulmark. You won’t find it.” She said, smirking slightly, but he could see the tightness around her eyes.

“Is it well hidden?” he asked, fearing where this was going.

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, the laugh was sad and he _understood_. “So well hidden, in fact, that even _I_ can’t see it.” She confirmed his realisation.

“You’re unmarked?” It was more a statement than a question.

She bit her lip and shrugged one shoulder, his eyes inadvertently went down to her breast because _come on!_ When he refocused on her eyes she saw a spark there, it was intentional.

He wondered what it was like, being unmarked, having your soul unclaimed, knowing you would never have a second half.

The pity must have shown clearly on his face because she rolled her eyes and sat back up again. “Stop that, the kicked puppy look. Jesus, _Steve_.”

He helped steady her so they could finish talking. She didn’t have a soulmark, they needed to figure this out, she didn’t think this was a permanent thing, did she? If she did was it necessarily a bad thing? Maybe she- hold on.

“ _Steve?_ ” he blinked “How did you-“

“Know? Simple, I know you and I that kicked puppy look is something only you can pull off, I swear to Thor, Steve, I figured it out last night when you asked me if I wanted a glass of water before I _went down on you._ ” She rolled her eyes. His face heated up and he was sure he was blushing from the tips of his ears and down his chest, not only in embarrassment but also with the memory of just how amazing she was at working his cock with her sinful mouth.

“Ever the gentleman.” She mumbled and smiled, the tight edges disappearing. This was the Darcy he knew, the teasing and eternally positive person who managed to both make fun of him and compliment him with the same sentence.

“Also, Mr. Smith? I mean seriously, you introduced yourself as John Smith, that is the fakest-ass name you could have chosen,” another eye roll, “which one of these is your mark?” she gestured to the impressive amount of ink that covered his torso, neck and arms.

He smiled, twisting his his upper body to show her the back of his left shoulder, “that one,” he smiled at her over the mark as she moved closer. In a small and messy hand the words _'You need a hand there, punk?'_  were barely visible between a big rose and skull piece, and an eagle (Tony’s idea).

“It’s Bucky, right?” she asked, the breath tickling the hairs on the back of his neck, he shivered.

“Yeah,” he answered and hoped she wouldn’t ask anything else. Like _Why are you no longer with him?_ Or _Where is he now?_ Or _Then why is he with Natasha?_

She simply nodded and ghosted her fingers along the words before she continued down his spine and down to his hip. He slowly untwisted his torso as she went and she traced the ship sailing there.

“The ink is impressive”, she murmured and tapped the figurine on the bow twice, “the ship is my favourite.” She smiled brightly, suddenly teasing again, “when I saw it last night I almost said _‘Ship ahoy, Captain!_ ’” she laughed. Ah, that explained her giggling while she had run her hands up and down his sides and he'd discarded her dress.

“I would have totally blown my cover! I mean,” she tossed her messy hair over her shoulder in a way that she did when she pretended to be an airhead, displaying her love bitten collarbone to him in the process. “Like I _totes_ knew who you were, but like, if I didn’t like tell you, like? You wouldn’t, like,  even recognize me back… like.” She giggled and he pounced on her, pressing her back into his mattress.

“I like, totally, like recognized you the moment I saw you.” He smiled back and she started laughing that great big belly laugh that he liked so much. It was contagious. “Like _totes_.” He assured her using his most sincere face, managing to keep it for a whole second before he laughed too.

“It’s good that you decided to bring a drunk gal home, because hearing you say that with a straight face was the highlight of my month right there.” She smirked and ran her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, marvelling at the designs and colours.

“For real though, these are great, fuck, I thought I was going to spontaneously combust! Not only did you have that ridiculously great beard, and let me tell you _it does things for me,_ ” her voice dropped an octave and God he reacted almost immediately, swallowing tightly as he grew hard against her thigh. “Just imagining the beard burns on my neck and thighs, God! I almost climbed you like a tree right on the spot, but then I saw _these_ ,” and with that she ran her hands back up his arms, over his shoulder and down his chest and sides. And damn if she didn’t let her nails scratch softly over his nipples too. His hips bucked into her, she smirked.

“Oh yeah, then I decided that not only did I want your mouth all over me, my mouth, my neck, my tits, my stomach, my cunt, _God_ , _Steve_ , I wanted to ride you face so bad.” She said, eyes dark and lids half shut as she gripped his dick with her hand, letting the other drift to the ship on his left hip.

He thrust into her hand and let out stifled moan. Afraid that if he was too loud she would stop talking. And God he hoped she would keep talking like that all day.

He focused on the way she rubbed him, squeezing slightly and twisting her wrist over the head, and he missed the next part of her fantasy.

“-and then you would add a finger," she continued, and he groaned, jerking slightly, "and- you’re going to come for me soon, aren’t you?” She suddenly asked, he choked out what he thought might be a positive response.

“Good, and when you’re done, I want you to do exactly as I say, can you do that for me, Steve? Can you take instructions on where exactly I want your tongue to be? ” She whispered huskily in his ear and licked the shell. He groaned again and started thrusting in time with her hand movements, his head dropping to her shoulder as she dragged her nails over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. He started sucking on her shoulder, loving the way her voice wavered between dark, husky and seductive and the breathy whimpers as his hand started massaging her tit, working her pebbled nipple between his thumb and finger.

“When I say now, I want you to come for me Steve, can you do that for me? Can you come all over me?” She whispered as her hand squeezed harder and started working faster the other gently touching his balls. It took all he had not to come right there and then. He sped up his hips to move in time with the new rhythm and squeezed his eyes shut, biting his bottom lip as he waited for her to say it.

“I said; can you do that for me?” she said louder now, more demanding and he twitched in her hand, hips faltering for a beat.

“Yes! I can do that, please,” burst out of him.

“Say my name.” she whispered, no she _growled_ in his ear.

“Darcy! Please, Darcy I need, I need-“ he was delirious and so close he couldn’t hold it off anymore, he needed her permission, “please, Darcy, I need, I want- please!”

“Now.” She said in the same commanding tone as before, and he came. He came hard.

Waves upon waves of pleasure travelled up and down his spine as he spilled all over her stomach and between her breasts, moaning her name and possibly also a _thank you._

“You’re welcome.” She laughed as he collapsed on top of her, beyond caring that he got his sticky mess all over his own stomach too.

He gathered his breath as she ran her fingers through his hair and hummed. “You know, you have a bit of a kink there, Steven.” She mused. He merely made a sound of agreement because _yeah, he did._

“Let’s take a long good shower, have another snack, and then you give me that beard burn?” she suggested, short of breath.

“Yeah. Good plan.” He nodded against her shoulder and slipped off her, letting her breath again.

“Alright then. Just one more thing, are those permanent?” She waved at the tattoos.

“No, they come off with this special gel that Tony made.”

“Oh,” she looked like she was trying hard to look non-plussed. 

“You want me to keep them don’t you?”

“Oh yes, that and the piercings? Just for another day. I promise, you can get your clean Apple-Pie-Captain look back for Monday, but it’s still only Saturday.”

“Alright, I’ll be your bad boy.” He winked at her and nipped her shoulder before he got off the bed and helped her to her feet.

“I’m like the reverse Taylor Swift!” She laughed as he ushered her into the bathroom.

“Oh yeah?” he said, not getting the reference.

She threw him a smile over her shoulder. “Yeah, _I can make the good guy bad for the weekend_.” She sang, winked and sashayed over to the shower.

 _I’ll show you bad boy,_ he thought as he followed her, pushing her up against the cold tiles as the still cold water started running over them.

“Fuck, Steve!” she shrieked as the cold things touched her warm skin.

“In a minute I will,” he smiled.

“Argh! You cheeky, little-“

“Bad boy, remember?”

“You ass!” She laughed, but didn’t stop him as he kissed her again, the water getting warmer by the second.

And after a good round of shower sex followed by a light lunch snack, he realised he wouldn’t mind being her bad boy for more than the one weekend.

Maybe even on the weeknights as well, he thought while she was telling him exactly what she wanted him to do with his hands and mouth.

“Steve, Yes, There! Another finger- _yes_!” She moaned as she sat splayed out on his kitchen table with his head between her thighs.

Okay, he definitely wanted to be her bad boy every day of the week.

*

 


	2. Wheezing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a weekend of fun and sexytimes, Darcy leaves for work and Steve wants to ask her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay more smut! 
> 
> Also a little more background to this au; Steve mentions that Bucky liked "waiting dames" which, in a universe where dating is reserved between you and your romantic soulmate, a lot of people used to wait around for their soulmates with others who's words don't match theirs... AKA "waiting" :)

*

Sunday evening came and went, and Darcy along with it.

His empty apartment felt different now. The kitchen reminded him of Darcy’s laughter and the artistic pancakes she’d made for breakfast, instead of the night Bucky left him. He remembered both clearly, but the new easy and fun memory helped lessen the gloom he felt whenever he was alone in there. And she’d rearranged his furniture when he went out for more condoms and snacks, claiming it was more zen now. Well, She'd stared rearranging his furniture an when he him returned she was standing in the middle of chaos, brushing off his laughter she quickly made him move the rest of the heavy stuff around as she pointed. He had to admit this way the space was utilized better now and seemed cosier, and he liked it much better, but after googling zen he realised that zen had nothing to do with it.

He liked the way she forced herself into his life, the way she’d turned two days into such a big and significant part of his life, the way she felt life changing and somewhat permanent.

He was afraid, at first, that she would leave his place and forget that it ever happened, and after mumbling those concerns to her while they were half-asleep and exhausted, she had laughed and assured him that it was harder to get rid of her than that.

And he understood. In a world of soulmates, where everyone had a person made for them and the reassurance of knowing they would never be alone, you had to make space for yourself if you weren’t marked.

He remembered when he’d found out his soulmate was a boy, he’d been excited, just knowing that the text on his shoulder belonged to someone, but Bucky had spent years waiting all sorts of dames before he finally came to terms with the fact that Steve was it for him. And it had been magical, until he left for the war.

Steve forcibly shook himself from thoughts of Bucky, he wasn’t Bucky anymore, he was _James_.

He started the shower, letting the water grow warmer as he picked up the towels Darcy had left on the floor in her haste to strip and pounce. He smiled and let himself linger on thoughts of her as he methodically lathered himself up in the gel to remove his tattoos, lingering for a second on the ship on his left hip, remembering how much Darcy had liked it, before he scrubbed that too. Once he was covered in grey lather from head to toe, he quickly took out the various piercings and stepped into the warm spray of the shower.

His skin tickled where it slowly knitted back together in his eyebrow, ears and bottom lip, and by the time the water around the shower drain had cleared up the grey color, it was as if he’d never had any piercings at all.

Washed clean and looking more like Captain Rogers, he tried to leave his thoughts of Darcy out as he went about his daily routine. On Mondays he would usually hang out in the tower, keep an eye on his team, talk to the scientists and agents, maybe call Sam or have a meeting with Agent Hill. But seeing as his mission was complete, the human trafficking operation closed and debriefing completed, he had no reason to come in… and he was scared that running into Darcy in the hall would be awkward, or that Tony would pick up on the tension the minute he walked in there. He liked having some things to himself. Liked leading a private life outside the Avengers and everybody involved.

So he stuck to his Saturday routine: Drawing, having a huge breakfast, drawing some more, turning the TV on in the background while he worked out, beating the crap out of the punching bag Tony made him that stood in the corner...

His routine was interrupted at around 5 o’clock by a phone call from Sam.

 _“Steve, my man, what’s up?”_ Sam’s ever-cheerful voice sounded on the other line.

“I’m good, Sam. Completely wiped out after the mission, decided to stay home until I’m needed.” Should he tell Sam about Darcy?

_“Man, I was starting to wonder where you were hiding, haven’t seen you in weeks.”_

“Come over for pizzas and a couple of cold ones later, Clint talked nonstop about a TV show called Dog Cops, he made Tony DVR it for me while I was gone.”

“ _Dog Cops? Really?_ ” he could practically hear the smirk.

“That, or the Mario Kart Tony installed while I was gone…”

“ _Well in that case, I'll be right over._ ” Sam said with deadpan delivery, he'd made his thoughts on that game clear after Natasha schooled him in it a few months ago.

Steve smiled and instantly scanned the room for any trace of Darcy, other than the fact that she had rearranged all his furniture, she hadn’t left anything else behind. His eyes landed on the pizza menu that Darcy had tried shoving under the couch pillows while she was arguing that Thai would be the best takeout. They’d settled for Indian, but the pizza menu had been forgotten as they occupied themselves on the couch, trying to fit a ‘quickie’ in before the food was delivered.

“I’ll order a couple of ‘everything’ pizzas” he told Sam as he picked up the menu and threw himself onto the cushions. “They’ll be here before you if you’re still at work. Hurry and I might even save you a slice.” Steve was only half joking, as his stomach growled, and he silently cursed himself for not eating more than his (albeit buffet sized) omelet.

 _“Dude, that sounds amazing, but I actually can’t really meet right now._ ” Sam sounded apologetic, even a little anxious. Steve dropped the menu on his coffee table and sat up, alert.

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“ _Chill, Steve, I’m fine. Got a date, that’s all, and I’m damn nervous about it._ ” Steve blinked.

“A date?” he asked.

“ _Yepp. Buying her some flowers as we speak. Lilies or daisies?_ ”

“On a Monday?”

“ _Well, her schedule is pretty busy, we date when we find time._ ”

“So this is a common occurrence?”

“ _Jesus, Steve. Yes, I’m sort of in a kind of relationship with the woman I’m matched with and care about very much. But we’re keeping it on the down-low, so don’t go spreading it around._ ”

Steve frowned as he relaxed a tiny bit into the cushions again. “Maria Hill finally said yes?” he asked after a second.

“ _As if anyone could resist me that long. I’m freaking adorable._ ” Sam proclaimed with a laugh.

“Yeah you are. Get her a cactus for her office,” Steve rolled his eyes. Sam laughed.

There was a moment of silence as he could hear Sam pay for the flowers and his mind instantly went back to Darcy again. Flashes of the past weekend invaded his mind. Darcy naked on the couch, shivering and moaning as he ate her out, giggling and shouting as she chased him around the room with a towel-turban on her head and nothing else, only managing to catch up because he had been distracted by her bouncing breasts, sleeping curled up on his lap in the armchair under all the blankets he owned with the take out container still clutched in her hands. And many more. How could one weekend with her feel like several sunlit days? Maybe he should ask her out...

“ _Steve? Hello?_ ”

Sam was trying to get his attention on the phone again when the buzzer rang.

“Hi, sorry, hang on, someone’s at the door.” Steve said as he got up and walked over to the little monitor to see who it was.

“ _Probably just the pizza._ ”

“Haven’t ordered it yet.” He looked at the monitor and saw Darcy holding a giant overflowing grocery bag and looking nervous.

“I’m gonna have to hang up now. Tell Hill I won’t say anything to the team.” Steve said as he buzzed her in, smiling faintly at the bright smile Darcy gave the camera before she walked through the door.

“ _Of course, if she shows up at all. You never know when there might be some kind of situation._ ”

“If there is a situation, I’ll tell her myself.”

“ _Yeah, well here’s to no situations. Please knock on some wood for me._ ”

Steve rolled his eyes but still rapped his knuckles twice on his wooden key-table in the hallway as he went to unlock the door. He would rather not have this evening interrupted either.

“I’ll be seeing you!”

“ _Bye!_ ”

He hung up and opened the door as Darcy approached it, throwing his phone on the table.

“Hi!” She said breathlessly. He didn’t know if he should blame it on her nervousness or the flights of stairs she’d just walked up.

“Hey,” he said, just as breathlessly. Definitely nerves then.

"So, I didn't want to assume anything," she started as she readjusted the grip on her grocery bag. He took it from her before she dropped it, seeing the relieved yet still tentative smile on her face as he did so.

"Thanks. I, I really had a good time with you- a great time actually, amazing- and I thought 'this doesn't have to be a one time thing, right?’ And since I helped you clean out the contents of your fridge and the amount of takeout menus stuffed in your drawer is kinda sad, I decided to restock and maybe cook us some pasta?"

All of this came out in a rush, and Steve was so thankful that she seemed just as nervous as him that he almost kissed her.

Almost.

"I- yeah. Come in!" He gestured to his apartment, catching the scent of her hair. It smelled like his soap, meaning the last shower she had was probably the one they shared last night.

He instantly became self conscious and peered down at the sweaty shirt and ragged sweats that he had worked out in all day. His stomach growled at the same time he opened his mouth to apologize for his body odour.

She smirked at him, suddenly more at ease. "I'll take that as a yes to dinner. Put the bag in the kitchen and I'll get started while you shower." He nodded and, because that was how his mother raised him, took her huge purse (why women had started carrying their lives in huge heavy bags he would never understand) and carried them both to his kitchen counter.

"I'll just-" he made a vague motion towards the bathroom and the state of his shirt before he left her to go shower. _And get a grip, Rogers, seriously._

By the time he had power-showered, (What Sam called “taking a quick shower while cursing every other second to make it seem like it’s more efficient and effective.”) and had a minor panic about what to wear before he settled on slacks and a long armed shirt, he could smell heavenly tomato sauce from the kitchen. He did a quick tidy of his bedroom, blushing furiously as he shoved the few drawings he’d made of Darcy in various pin-up poses in his nightstand drawer, then smacked himself as he remembered that this is where he kept condoms and lube and almost ripped the drawer off its hinges when he retrieved the drawings and stuffed them under his neatly folded dress-pants in the closet.

After one last glance and throwing a wayward sock in the hamper, he forced himself to calm down before he went into the kitchen.

Darcy was singing to herself, the same song he could faintly hear from her iPhone over the kitchen fan.

"Say it ain’t so, your drug is a heartbreaker.” Dramatic headbanging, then, even louder; “Say it ain’t sooooooo! My lo-” she turned in her dramatic belting and yelped. "Jesus you gotta make more sound when you walk."

"So you've said," he hesitated for a second before he continued with "wouldn't really matter anyway with the yodelling you were doing in here."

She laughed and like magic he felt all the worry and awkwardness melt away.

"Yeah. You caught me Wheezing, sorry."

"It was more a belt than a wheeze."

"No- the band is called Wheezers."

"Ah."

"Yeah. Gotta think of the crowd next time I wanna make a reference." But she smiled kindly at him and he knew this is just how Darcy was. Witty, sharp and full of pop culture references, and also kind, warm, caring and willing to explain them instead of making fun and rolling her eyes.

They might not have had many interactions before their weekend together, but over the past few days he'd gotten to know her a lot better.

The dinner was simple, yet delicious. Spaghetti bolognaise for 10 people… or one Darcy and one super soldier.  

The company was even better. As proven over the weekend; Darcy was hilarious! From her quick jokes to the funny stories and deadpan comments. She reminded him of Peggy and Bucky and Sam all at once and he enjoyed their time together. The uncomplicated conversations and easy laughs. It was as if the meal was a metaphor for them. Simple but delicious, with a couple of extra ingredients that spice them up a bit (fresh ginger and cilantro in the sauce and the game of footsie under the table when it came to them.)

It was somewhere along desert where Steve started getting distracted from Darcy... By _Darcy._

"No, seriously. I don't need no man, except maybe Ben _and_ Jerry, but it sure is nice to have one." She told him as she scooped up a big spoon of Strawberry Cheesecake from the carton in his hand, emphasizing her point by letting out a moan as the ice cream touched her tongue.

She’d had her ankle propped up on his knee under the table since she’d sat down with the carton and two spoons, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t aware of it. It was nice, but with the damn near erotic sounds she was making, he let go of the carton and spoon in favor of touching her, massaging the ankle and rubbing her foot. She kicked him.

“Ouch!”

“Sorry!!”

“No, _I’m_ sorry,” he raised his hands above his shoulders, “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, no, your hand was cold! please keep rubbing my feet, by all means, but Jesus, warn a girl or warm your hands first!”

He smiled tentatively and cursed himself before he made a big show of rubbing the warmth back into his hands. She rolled her eyes at him and put her foot back on his knee, and smirking at him as she moaned over another spoonful of ice cream, she slipped said foot slowly up the inside of his thigh. He almost broke his pinky when her toes started rubbing him through his jeans, half hard in seconds.

“Jesus, warn a guy.” he threw her words back, feeling his cheeks warm as he dropped his hand on her ankle, slowly stroking it up her calf.

“Oh, there was plenty of warning.” she said, her voice dropping an octave, he swallowed thickly.

“The moment you let me into the building, you knew where this was going,” she slipped her foot another inch up, covering his crotch firmly. “You knew I was going to make a move when you opened the door, you spent most of the meal looking at my lips and licking your own.” And then she licked her soft lips again, never losing her rhythm as she rubbed him, her left foot travelled up his calf and to his thigh. He grabbed it and brought it closer, his hip thrusting up slightly and she bit her bottom lip.

“And when I vocally showed my appreciation for Strawberry Cheesecake, your eyes got darker and your mouth went slack. And God, I’ve been aching for you since you opened the door in your tight shirt,” She smirked and stilled the movements of her feet, retracting them from his lap and sitting up all businesslike in her seat.

He let out a soft groan at her words that turned into a whine at the loss of contact.

“So,” she raised her eyebrow in challenge. “What are you going to do about it?”

He pounced, pushing the ice cream, spoons and tablecloth out of the way he stood up and leaned over the table, trapping her face between his hands and bringing her lips to his, finally kissing her like he’d wanted to do all evening. All day, really.

It was a sweet and desperate kiss, all tongue and teeth and moans as her hands started dragging his shirt up over his shoulders and he ripped open her cardigan, not even sparing more than a split second wince when he heard one of the buttons hit his record player, he’d fix it later, as long as he could get the layer off.

She pulled back with an impatient huff, steadying herself on the table, having stood up too fast and knocked her thighs into the edge.

“Stupid fucking table,” she cursed and he ripped his shirt off over his head before he reached out and lifted her up, enjoying her excited giggling he sat her on her knees on the tabletop in front of him, smirking as her eyes darkened and her hands ran over his arms, before he changed his hold from her waist to her ass, and pulling her towards him, finally pulling her body flush against his, moaning as she wrapped her thighs around his hips.

She stopped kissing him long enough to draw a breath before she continued kissing down his throat and sucking at his pulse.

“Darcy,” he moaned as she tightened her legs around him in time with his thrust.

“Yes,” she moaned back, pulling at his hair and licking his jaw.

He turned around and almost tripped over the back of his sofa, forgetting that she’d moved it so close to his little dining table.

“Shit-” he muttered as he unceremoniously sat her on the back of it to gain his balance. His serum enhancements didn’t mean much when he was distracted like this. She just laughed and started working on opening his belt, sliding a hand down his boxers as he ripped her shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. Her breasts, magnificent breasts were barely contained in the skimpiest bra he’d ever seen, all lace and frills and sheer, displaying just how hard her nipples were and he couldn’t resist thumbing carefully at them over the soft lace, and then more firmly as she moaned and arched her back.

“What’s your problem with my buttons?” she teased, breathless, as her hand wrapped around his cock.

“Hnugh,” he replied eloquently as his head fell back, hips thrusting into the tight circle of her hand whenever she ran her thumb over his slit.

“You gotta stop, Darce, or I won’t last.” He said, covering her hand with his and cleared his throat as his voice was hoarser than normal.

Together they pushed his pants and boxers down in a frenzy, leaving him bare but for his socks before she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him hard. He was trying to kick them off when she threw herself backwards into the couch cushions, taking him with her.

“Ouf! Warn a guy?” he laughed, bracing one arm on the floor to stop them from rolling off.

“Sorry,” She wiggled around and he followed, until they ended up lying on the couch, his hips between her legs and the three throw pillows on the floor.

He kissed her lips, her cheeks and her nose, slowing things down until he sat up on his knees, removing her jeans and socks, holding the same foot she’d teased him with over dessert, resting it on his shoulder as he kissed his way up her leg. She squirmed against him, her hand coming down to push her panties down, but he intercepted it.

“Impatient much?” he murmured against the inside of her thigh, laughing softly at the frustrated growl she threw at him. “Take your bra off,” he instructed massaging her hip with his left hand and her thigh with his right. The bra and panties matched, both a deep navy lace that barely covered anything. He focused his gaze on the damp, dark patch barely covering her cunt and inhaled. “You smell good,” he mumbled, smiling as she squirmed again in reaction to his words. He slipped his hand down from her hip and pulled her panties to the side as his other hand ran up her body to her newly uncovered breasts, massaging and pinching her nipples, keeping his eyes on hers as he inched closer.

“Steve! Please!” she yelled at him, begged him, and he reached out his tongue to slowly lick over her. She shuddered, her eyes rolled back and her elbows gave out, making her fall on her back, breaking their eye contact. She moaned his name and her right hand gripped his ear as she bent her left knee, trapping him between her hand and thigh and pussy.

Steve moaned, hips buckling into the couch as he ate her out, getting high on hearing her repeat his name as she came closer and closer to coming.

“So close!” she exclaimed and he tore himself away, sitting back and taking her panties with him.

“Fuck you!” she sobbed indignantly as her hips buckled into thin air, he crawled up her body, kissing his apologies into her skin as he went, lingering on her breasts until she yanked his hair.

“Stop licking my tits,” she ordered and grabbed his cock, positioning him at her entrance, “and fuck me.”

He started pulling back, "the condoms-"

"Don't need them, I'm clean, you can't catch anything anyway, on the pill and, dear God get inside me already!" She snapped at him as she brought him back to her.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

And he thrust, moaning with her and dropping his head on her shoulder, catching his breath before he slowly pulled out and pushed back in.

She felt amazing, hot and wet and tight.

Together they found their rhythm and he reclaimed her lips, swallowing her moans and whimpers.

She tightened her thighs around his hips and thrust up and slightly to the side, finding an angle that let him go deeper and cursed. “Fuck! Harder, faster, yes!” She moaned, using all her energy and buckling wildly and desperately, trying to flip them like she did in bed, wanting to take control.

He barely even felt it as he landed on his back on all the throw pillows they’d kicked to the floor, past caring as she adjusted herself and sat up, riding him fast and hard with one hand braced on his ribs, fingers splayed on his chest and one hand clutching the coffee table.

“There, yes! Steve!” she moaned again, desperate and loud as he gripped her hip and rubbed her clit with his other hand. Moaning back at her as he felt her flutter against his dick.

She came with a long moan and a bubble of words that he didn’t get, too busy coming inside her to focus.

Panting, she fell forwards onto him and whimpered as he pulled her up and off him, their cum all over them.

They said nothing for a few minutes, only catching their breaths and waiting for their heartbeats to slow until she pulled up, and slid down his body, removing the one sock he hadn’t managed to kick off and scrunched up her nose. “Ugh, sticky,” she muttered, staggering to his room.

She stopped in the doorway looking at him over her shoulder where he lay between his coffee table and couch on the pile of throw pillows.

“Join me in the shower?”

He threw her over his shoulder and ran into his en suite before she’d finished the question, laughing along with her as she slapped his ass.

*

“I miss your ship.” She told him, much later, as they cuddled together on his bed just as he was falling asleep.

“Hmmm, what?”

“The tattoo,” she traced around where it used to be with her fingers, making him sigh in contentment. “I miss it.”

“Me too.”

When he fell asleep it was with Darcy’s head on his chest and fingers drawing sea vessels on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was beta'd by the wonderful Helga (lupinsfurrylittleproblem on tumblr)  
> Thank you!!


	3. Every Other Freckle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's got it bad, Darcy's not ready to go public, and Sam is a little ray of sunshine that knocks a little sense into Steve's head about what could possibly be the reason for Darcy dragging her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Shouts from my balcony* "The FEEELS are here!"

 

*

The next three months were better than anything Steve could have hoped for. Sure, the first few times they met up had started slow and awkward, then one of them cracked a joke and they settled into their friendly banter until the underlying tension became too much and they fucked on every surface of his apartment. She refused to tell anyone about them which he guessed was partly because they worked together. Well not together, but in the same building and with the same people. His friends were her friends and she didn’t want them to know so he didn’t tell them. He guessed it was also partly because of a deep rooted internalized unmarked-discrimination. When you go your whole life being told that everybody has one person out there who completes them it must be hard not to feel like less than a person when you had no one that was made for you. Women, and especially unmarked women, were treated like man-stealers and slutshamed for being with marked men. Unmarked men were not treated well in this society either, but for some reason whenever they were waiting with marked women it was always the women who should have been more mindful of how they belonged to some other man. Unfortunately not much has changed since his youth.

He remembered Howard getting drunk one night and ranting about how much it sucked to be unmarked, but at least he didn't have to explain his Casanova-ways to a future soulmate so there was that silver lining.

Howard’s soulmark had appeared on him a few weeks before Bucky fell. Turns out that there was just a considerable age gap between him and Tony’s mother. Darcy was closer to 30 than 20 though and really couldn’t imagine being a ‘cougar’... He’d had to look that one up on urban dictionary.

“I’m not saying ‘no thank you’ to a platonic soulmate that is decades younger than me, but I’m not gonna fuck a child.” She had said with a grimace one of the few times they had gotten onto the subject of soulmates. It was not something they talked about a whole lot, because he wanted to talk about his soulmate and his lack of presence about as much as she wanted to talk about her lack of mark. They still did talk, in the early hours of the morning, when cold grey light shone through the gaps in his curtains and they had an hour or two before their alarms went off and they laid there, softly revealing secrets and stroking each others skin.

Then her obnoxious alarm went off (or that one time Maria called him to assemble the Avengers) and she shrugged off the soft mood of the early morning and braved the cold room to run naked into his shower, telling him to hurry if he wanted to join her. And like that the moment was gone and they were back to playful and flirty banter.

But he did not mind, especially not when she kissed his cheek and told him she’d be over after work that evening.

He absentmindedly wiped the lipstick traces off his cheek as he waited for Sam to go for their morning jog.

“What is their name?” Sam asked after catching his breath, laying spread-eagle on the grass as Steve did his stretches.

“Who?” Steve feigned obliviousness but resolutely kept his eyes on his shoelaces.

“Whoever is making you smile like an idiot and almost run into trees.” Sam smiled, “I know _my_ whoever is Maria, so who is yours and when can I meet them?”

Steve looked over at Sam, knowing he couldn’t lie to him to save his own life. But he would omit. This wasn’t just his secret to keep.

“She’s none of your business, Sam.” He rolled his eyes and begged for Sam to drop it.

“Oh, so it’s a she?” Sam smiled and sat up to start stretching as well.

“Yeah, she’s great, she’s also not keen on making anything official.” Steve said, a little bitter, _sure_.

He’d asked Darcy what they were and she’d told him she didn’t want to put a label on anything, and he’d told her he wanted to put the label girlfriend on her and she told him no. She hadn’t stopped coming over, but she’d been more guarded for the next couple of weeks, so Steve had dropped it. He’d gotten really good at that lately; dropping things that made Darcy uncomfortable, he was slowly picking them up again though, in those quiet morning hours.

“She’s unmarked isn’t she?” Sam said as he laid back down to do a hamstring stretch.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, standing straight and rolling his shoulders back.

“I used to Wait.” Sam shrugged, “it’s not the same for me though, having a mark and all, but there was this one guy I met in the army, Donnie, who was unmarked, and he was always cautious about leaving traces anywhere, no matter if if was a friendship or romantic relationship. Turns out he used to be in love with the guy he waited with and he’d dropped him like a hot potato the moment he met his soulmate, and said soulmate had been reluctant to start a relationship. She was a child of divorce and... Anyway, it was not Donnie’s fault, but his ex was now single because his soulmate rejected him, so he angrily blamed Donnie, saying he was the reason his soulmate didn’t accept him.”

Sam looked lost in his own thoughts as he trailed off, dropping his leg and just laying there staring at the clouds.

“Donnie was a great guy, good at his job, I met him once in a vet centre in Chicago, and he’s is married now, to another unmarked. The army is full of them, when you feel like there is nowhere for you, enlisting is an easy out.”

Steve nodded, remembering Bucky’s horrified realisation that there were so many people without marks and realising that keeping his non-platonic male soulbond a secret was not the most heartbreaking thing in this world. He remembered all the times he tried to enlist, surrounded by men in their underpants and how so few of them had markings on their skin. He absentmindedly rubbed the back of his shoulder, where Bucky’s words were, and Sam seemed to do the same to his left ribs.

“She’s not quite like that though,” Steve tried to explain. “She takes up a lot of space for someone who doesn’t want to make things official.”

“She the one who rearranged your furniture?” Sam smirked at him.

“Yeah,” Steve laughed, remembering when Sam came over and threw his bag where the couch used to be, only to knock over the smallest of his dumbbells. “She likes leaving traces all over, but they are never too personal.” Sam thought that over for a second.

“Maybe she’s afraid that Bucky will take you back, and she thinks she’s just the placeholder for your soulmate. I’m not gonna lie Steve, I thought I was in love with someone I waited, but when I met Maria everything changed. She’s probably heard all of these stories from friends and family growing up. People who want to tell her about this glorious thing she won’t get to experience herself.” Sam started stretching out his other hamstring.  

“Donnie said that was one of the worst things about being unmarked. Having to listen to everybody else feeling the ‘ _superior-love_ ’. He went through a lot of other shit too.”

Steve frowned and thought over what Sam had said. Yes, he knew that ‘ _superior-love_ ’ but he had met Bucky at such a young age that there was no one point in his life where he got blindsided by the feeling. It was more of a gradual thing, and it felt a lot like the same thing with Darcy. Growing stronger as their friendship and trust did. Actually he felt a little more blindsided by how drastically Darcy had changed his life in such a short time and the utter adoration he felt towards her, than when he realised he was in love with Bucky.

“We got drunk one night at the end of basic, and danced to this awful 70’s disco song with these two pretty girls we met at the bar,” Sam continued. “People started whispering behind his back, crude comments and bigoted things. At first I thought they were angry that a black man was dancing with this blonde, blue-eyed girl, but it turns out they were mad that an unmarked man was dancing with a marked woman. Don’t even ask me how they knew he was unmarked. I mean mine is only visible when I’m shirtless, so they probably had some connections to the base. Anyway Donnie shrugged it off and told me to ignore it later when his dancing partner ran away. Made me think about how his whole life had probably been like that. It’s probably worse for your girl though. Because unmarked women are mostly connected to sex-workers while unmarked men get to be CEOs.”

Steve knew this, and once again felt angry for the misogyny that was still around so long after his youth. The same anger he felt whenever people refused to vaccinate their kids, tried to make reverse-racism a thing, or were against gay rights. Except this was Darcy. And there was nothing he could do to change her past. But he would do something for her future, he decided, even if it’s just letting her know she has a place and her choice is respected.  

Sam finished his stretches and raised a hand for him to haul him up off the ground and together they made their way over to the diner by the park for a full hearty breakfast.

“She might be hesitant to let you in Steve, especially since she knows who you are and who your soulmate is, but if you are serious about her and she is not just some girl you are waiting with until Bucky comes back, then I say you should show her that.”

“How?” Steve asked as they entered the diner.

“So you _are_ serious then?” Sam asked as he picked up a menu, ignoring Steve rolling his eyes.

“I think I am, yeah.” he answered, ignoring his own menu to get Sam talking.

“Take her out, man. Invite her to places that are public, introduce her to your friends, give her a drawer in you dresser, make sure she knows she is _permanent_.” Sam put down his menu and flagged down the waitress. “That egg white omelet and a side of pancakes. Oh and orange juice, please.”

Steve quickly looked at his own menu before ordering two of the meal with the biggest calorie count and a coffee.

“Oh, and Steve,” Sam said when the waitress left, “talk to her. Tell her about Bucky, not just the official story or that he is off to find himself by blowing HYDRA up. But your story with him. Talk about your soulmate, how you met, how you felt, how you feel now. Make sure she knows that you value him but he doesn’t eclipse your relationship with her.”

Steve frowned at him. “You make it sound like she’s the love of my life.”

“Isn’t she?” Sam teased.

“It’s only been three months,” Steve argued, but he felt his neck, cheeks and ears go hot and knew he was blushing.

“Just saying,” Sam raised his hands in defence. “If she is important to you, make sure she knows, tell her how you feel, man.”

“Yeah,” Steve trailed off because Sam was right. Darcy was important to him, and he had come to love her. He knew he was an all-or-nothing sort of person. He was never scared of jumping headfirst into danger -literally!- and when he first set his mind to something, he wasn’t easily deterred. He guessed he was the same in love. Loved with all he had, not just romantically, platonically as well. Sam and Natasha were examples of that.

He wasn’t sure if Darcy was the love of his life though, especially since the last person he’d thought that about had his words tattooed on his body, but he could easily imagine a life with her. A good happy life, and he would be damned if he did anything to stop that from happening.

Being stubborn came in handy sometimes.  

*

He started slowly following Sam’s advice. One time she spent the night he managed to hide her deodorant under his kitchen sink while she had a fight with her boots in his living room, and when she’d complained about it the next morning he’d run down to the grocery store and bought her a new one (the right brand and everything) and suggested that she just left some stuff at his place. She’d rushed off to work without giving him an answer and he sent her a text later that day, pretending that he’d found it under the couch and telling her he set it in his bathroom cabinet. He then cleared out the left side of the cabinet and set her deodorant there and a glass with an extra toothbrush. She never commented, but over the next few weeks more of her products found their way on those shelves.

He also cleared out a drawer in his dresser and when he saw that she needed more space, he ‘accidentally’ broke the handle on his own drawer so that he had to go to IKEA to pick out a new one. And this one was bigger, with roomier drawers, and though she didn’t come with him, he made sure to ask her opinion while he perused their online catalogue the day before.

They also left the apartment more. First going on grocery runs together and to get takeout from the few places that didn’t deliver. Then spreading out a bit, going to see the new movies that she was so excited about, taking her to diners and cafés and small art exhibits at the gallery a few blocks from him.

They never went anywhere near Manhattan and kept clear of Bed-Stuy because she was still adamant about keeping their labelless relationship a secret from everybody. And since she spent Wednesday afternoons helping Clint manage his building in Bed-Stuy, she knew exactly where not to go with Steve.

After two months of showing Darcy that he wanted her in his life, he finally got somewhere.

She started being more affectionate in public, he still wore a disguise though, but that was mostly so the media would leave him alone. It wasn’t even that hard. He always made sure he had enough beard to hide his ‘ _well-known-patriotic-jaw_ ’ (Darcy’s words). And Darcy found a lot of joy in making his disguises. He apparently looked good as a pirate, and her favorite go-to disguise for him was eyeliner smudges and eyebrow piercings. He still had those left over from his undercover work. It hurt for like a second to put them in, but he healed quick enough and the few times people might have recognized him, they always shrugged it off after eyeing the bling on his face, and for that they were his most prized disguise too.

And Darcy liked them a lot. Which was an added bonus. He got it though, he really, really, liked it when she kept her glasses on during sex. Something about the way she looked at him over the secretary glasses as she told him exactly what she wanted him to do was such a turn on for him, just like him with a beard and piercings were a turn on for her.

“It’s like all the librarian slash bad boy fantasies out there,” she explained to him as he removed his piercing, rubbing the spot for a second as his skin knitted itself together.

“The woman in charge, the dom/sub play, the utterly masculine alpha-male totally crumbling at the hands of his dainty girl. The ultimate fantasies... Oh! We should totally do some professor/student thing sometime.”

He smiled down at her and rejoined her under the covers after putting the bling away.

“Yeah?” he asked, his mind already running wild with Darcy in her professional wear, tying his hands together with his tie and asking him how far he was willing to go for a good grade.

“Totally, I mean we’ve mostly done these fantasies, but yeah.” She shrugged and took her glasses off, they were completely smudged from their earlier activities anyway. He ran his hand up and down her back as she sat up to reach the shelf over his bed, and thought about what she’d said. “So does that make you my dainty girl then?”

She guffawed, head falling back onto his pillows again and he propped himself up on his elbow to look at her face.

“Dainty? Me?” she gestured to her ample curves and pinched the little flab on her stomach, “Oh, Steven, you are cute.”

He frowned at her, then smiled, “your only objection to that is that you don’t think you’re dainty?” He kissed her shoulder, “You are short though, and these curves…” he dragged his stubbly chin over her collarbone and over her breast taking her nipple into his mouth for a second before he nudged her other heavy breast with his cheek, “they are _killer_.” She smiled and bit her lip, blushing as she always did when he complimented her. They were the same in the regard. “If that’s your only, _silly_ , objection…s’that mean you’re my girl then?”

She stopped smiling at once and sat back up again, pushing him out of the way as she did. He leaned back on the pillows and stared intently at the freckles on her back as she glared at the corner of his duvet and started picking at it. He sighed after a moment and sat up too, moving closer and wrapped himself around her, pulling her into his chest.

“I’m your boy,” he told her, after she failed to answer. “No matter what you believe, and despite the fact that you don’t want to put any labels on it; I’m _yours_. And, when you’re ready, I would like to call you my girlfriend.”

She shuddered and her arms snaked around him, holding tight, but not saying anything.

They stayed like that for a while, just holding onto each other, until the streetlights came on outside his building. He tucked her closer and brought her with him back to the pillows and snuggled in for the night, trying not to dwell on her silence. At least she was here. Unlike the last time he brought it up and she avoided him for days, she was still in his arms, in his bed and her fingers were drawing sea vessels on his skin.

“Steve?” He was contemplating whether he should sit up and turn off his bedside lamp when she spoke.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me about him.”  Steve cleared his throat, wondering where to begin.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she assured him, hands frantically playing with the kraken ring that took up most of her left pinky, a sign that she was nervous and really wanted to have this conversation. “Or if you-”

“No, I just, I wondered where to begin is all.”

“The beginning is always good,” she shrugged, fingers stilling over the ring.  

“Sure,” he played with her hair until she resumed her drawings on his chest.

“I met my soulmate when I was eight years old. He was a year older than me and we became best friends on the spot. Back then it was expected that same-sex soulbonds remained platonic, and ours did for a long time. Hell, we hadn’t been alive for a decade even, and both of us are bisexual, not that we knew that until much, much later, but Bucky used to Wait a lot, bring girls home and set up double dates... I didn’t really mind until after my Ma passed, I was just shy of eighteen and Bucky let me move in with him. I spent the winter being taken care of by him, and his sister Rebecca who dropped by whenever their Ma was being a nuisance, which was all the time. And when I got better and our apartment got warm enough for us to stop sharing the bed, I realised I missed him. And when he started with the double dates again it was a punch in the gut for me. I was so jealous.” He rolled his eyes and held onto her tighter as he thought how badly he would react to seeing Darcy with anybody else.

“After a year of pining I drank two beers, which was more than my body could handle at the time, and sort of blurted out how I felt, and he felt the same way.

“Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.” He mused, and she shifted in his arms, propping her chin on his chest to look at him.

“And what do you have now?” She asked him.

“You,” he smiled at her, “and Sam, Natasha, though she is away too now. We keep in touch. I also have Thor, the twins, all the other Avengers, even Tony, but don’t tell him that.” She snorted.

“And Bucky too, but it’s not the same as it was before.” He frowned at her shoulder and rubbed his thumb over the little cluster of freckles there. A tiny constellation of spots that he loved to kiss.

“When he fell from that train I blamed myself, still do. Sam says it is survivor’s guilt.” he sighed, Sam was probably right. He usually was. He’d told him to have this conversation, he’d even guessed that Bucky was a huge factor in the wall she’d built around herself.

“I thought I lost him,” Steve continued, “then he was there, on the bridge. And for a wild moment I thought we would be together again. I searched for him for a year, and when I finally found him again it wasn’t the same.”

“We had both changed, we were no longer two boys from Brooklyn. We tried to make it work, but I kept expecting him to be like he used to be, and he tried too hard to be that, and in the end we just stayed together because of expectations. His, mine, the LGBTQA community that spammed us on social media and rooted for us. In the end we didn’t focus on cherishing each other as we were, we were too stuck in the past. And so I lost him again.” He frowned, that didn’t sound right. “I let him go,” he corrected himself.

He met her eyes again, seeing them glassy with emotion and he wondered what was running through her head.

“He left. Went out to find himself, but he needed help, so after a year of avoiding Natasha, they met in Prague and they've been going around the world together since.  She told me he’s calling himself James now.” He smiled wryly remembering how sassy he’d been whenever anyone had tried to call him James in their youth.

“You see, Darce, the downside of having a person that the Universe made for you, to love you no matter what, to be your other half: It makes it is easy to take them for granted. To feel like you _have_ to be with them to feel whole.”

She frowned, licked her lips and opened her mouth, paused, and closed it again.                                    

He waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts, to ask what she wanted to know. and after a minute of intense internal debate she asked him;

“If Bucky were to come here tomorrow, would you take him back?”

 _No_. he wanted to say, _no, I’m with you now, I love you and I’m yours no matter what._ But he needed to be honest with her, he could see that the moment he lied to her in this conversation she would leave him and never ever come back.

“I don’t know. I don’t _think_ I will,” he said instead, because he honestly couldn’t be sure. “I’d like to say no, but with him it’s different. And it all depends on how he is if he comes back I guess.” _If Bucky begged me, if he needed me, I would not throw him out._ It went unsaid but it was clear that Darcy understood.

“Right,” she said, then nodded, rolling away from him.

He’d messed this up real bad...

He followed her, now on her back, until he was the one leaning his chin on her chest.

“I won’t throw _you_ out though.” He willed her to understand this too. “You _matter_ to me, Darcy, I _want_ you in my life, I _want_ you to be my girlfriend, I _want_ to introduce you to my friends as _my_ best girl, not as Jane’s snarky but lovable assistant.”

She met his eyes, finally, and he could see all the emotion behind them, see how bad she wanted to believe him.

“I love you, Darcy Lewis,” he told her, he’d been in love with her for months, but knowing where she stood, knowing she was not ready for some permanent or deep declaration of devotion, but damn it, he loved her and she needed to know that.

“I love your smile, your optimism, I love the way you are so brash and honest and not afraid to make space for yourself in other people's lives. I love the way you explain the jokes I don’t get, with so much enthusiasm, and with such empathy. You make fun of me and make me feel like the biggest person on the earth in the same breath”

She smiled at him, tears spilling from her eyes as her hands came up to cup his cheeks. He let her pull him up to her face, stopping just shy of her lips to make sure she got it.

“I love you, I’ve been in love with you for months. And no matter what happens, I will fight for you, for us, because I want a future with _you_.”

And then he kissed her.

It started out soft, a chaste loving kiss, that quickly got heated. They were already naked from earlier shenanigans, and Darcy shamelessly exploited this as she kicked the covers off the bed and let her hands roam all over him. He too took advantage, kissing her in all her favourite spots, “I love your tits,” he grumbled before playfully taking a nipple into his mouth, relishing in her boisterous laughter, “and your laugh.”

His hand went down to her cunt, spreading her and finding her clit, she gasped and bit her lips, “I love that sound, too,” he mumbled in her ear, as he slid a finger into her, making her whimper, “and that too. God, Darce, you’re so wet,” he marveled, kissing his way down between her breasts and to where his fingers were pushing inside her.

“I love how you grip my hair and _shamelessly_ keep my mouth on you.” he said against her clit, smiling smugly as he heard her keen, and a breathy “ _fuck_ , Steve,” as he slid a third finger into her.

He stopped talking, taking his time building her up instead, curling his fingers until they met that spot inside her that had her arching off the mattress as his tongue worked on her clit.

“God, Steve. Fuck, I’m gonna- _there_! Yes, _yes,_ oh-” she came with loud moan and a string of profanities and he licked her through her orgasm, keeping his eyes on her flushed face and her shiny red mouth making that perfect O.

“Fuck- _tastick_ ,” she mumbled as she came down, and he kissed his way back up to her face, taking his time to let her taste herself on his lips and tongue before he nipped at her earlobe and whispered; “I love your face when you come. You are so beautiful, Darcy, and I am lucky to have you.”

“Fuck, Steve.” she gasped and grabbed his dick, squeezing hard and guiding him to her so swiftly that he almost choked on air. He thrust into her hand as she whined “I need you Steve, I want you, please I need-” her ramblings were cut short as he sat back on his knees and pulled her into his lap, giving her a second to find purchase on his shoulders before he lifted her hips up and positioned himself at her entrance, holding her there.  

“Look at me,” he whispered, and Darcy met his eyes, half closed and dark with want. “Look at me and tell me you understand,” he rasped against her lips.

“I do, you love me,” she gasped and he thrust up into her. “You want me,” she mumbled as they found their pace. He almost sobbed in relief that she’d listened to him and kissed her, one hand leaving her hips to slide up her back and cup the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair as he kept her close to him.

“And what will I do, Darcy?” he asked as he dragged his mouth away from hers. She looked delirious and close to coming again, but he needed her to know this. “Darcy, what will I do for you? What will I do for us?!”

“Fight,” she whimpered, clawing at his back, “you’ll fight for me, us- you’ll fight.”

“Damn right,” he promised and slipped his hand back down to her hip, sliding his thumb over to press hard on her clit.

This time, she came almost silently. Her whole body trembled as he held her hips still and pounded into her, a breathy whimper escaping her every time he ground his hips to hers, and then she started wailing, riding out her orgasm as she desperately clutched at his hair and shoulder, back arched up and tits shoved at his face.

And he came hard, cursing and swearing and chanting her name into her chest until he too was spent.

They stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, catching their breaths, and just as Steve was about to fall to the side and snuggle up with her, her bottom lip quivered and tears started falling as a sob tore itself out of her.

He lifted his head from her chest and brought his hands up to cup her face.

“Hey, are you alright?”

She sniffed and sobbed and sniffed again, wiping at her face and nose. “Yeah, no. That was just- shit, Steve- that was _really_ intense.”

He smiled softly at her, and brought her head to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry, ignoring his right leg telling him it wanted to stretch out.

She didn’t cry for long, and lifted her head to look at him with a sheepish expression.

“Shit, I know it’s bad to cry after sex, but hey, I’m crying because it was _so good_ ,” she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before she opened them again. “So _very_ good, and not because you were bad at it, because - _believe me_ \- you are not.”

He laughed and lifted her off him, happy and relieved that she was smiling about all of this.

She grabbed a towel off the floor as he retrieved the covers, and quickly cleaned them up and threw the towel away before he wrapped himself around her and turned his bedside lamp off.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to him in the darkness.

“You have nothing to feel sorry about,” he whispered back.

“I- I can’t say it back,” she admitted into his chest, fingers trembling slightly as she combed them over his chest hair. ”Not yet.”

“That’s okay, just tell me when you’re ready,” he promised, “I’ll wait.”

And with those words he fell asleep, not hearing whatever she mumbled to him next as her fingers found their way to the words written on the back of his shoulder.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Helga!! (mah beta and fellow Scandinavian (lupinsfurrylittleproblem on tumblr))
> 
> Anyone wanna tell me what Darcy told Steve? (because I have no true answer here and I'm curious as to what you think she'd say when he's asleep) 
> 
> (Also I'm forevergingeratheart on tumblr if you wanna talk supersoldiers and marvel metas)


	4. Never Getting Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finally lets Steve introduce her as his girlfriend and is shocked when their super-spy-genius friends already knew... Oh and just as she's getting used to the idea of permanence... the Soulmate returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S DONE!
> 
> Thank you sooo very much for all the comments and all the support! I had so much fun writing this, and though it started out as a 3k smut oneshot, don't regret the many extra hours of work I put in to make it into a 17k(almost 18k!) fic with somewhat of a plot as well. Thank you for the positive feedback that made it all worth it! *hearts you*
> 
> Thank you Helga for being a great beta and rolling with the changes and my long ramblings (not to mention my horrible 3AM grammar!)

*

Darcy got more comfortable in his apartment after he told her she was permanent. He liked to remind her that he loved her, either by getting her the books she wanted or getting invested in the TV shows she loved so she could rant about them to him. He remembered things she said in passing, be it “we need more shampoo,” or “my favourite hoodie has a hole in it,” and went out to get more shampoo and patch up the hoodie. He also told her at that he loved her least once a day. Darcy eventually let herself believe it and Steve was happy whenever he found more of her clothes in the hamper or another of her books and gadgets on his shelves and drawers.

After their first weekend together his sketchbook had been full of pinups but those drawings had now been buried in new drawings of Darcy:  
Darcy in his shirt and making eggs. Darcy sleeping in odd places and positions, Darcy wearing the ugliest, comfiest sweaters and sweats. Darcy reading on her phone, Darcy watching TV.  Darcy wearing her pencil skirt, sleek blouse and glasses as she looked at him with a promise of naughty things to come. Darcy in the skimpiest of underwear, Darcy in 40’s underwear and thigh highs with seams up the back. Darcy in the shower, Darcy naked and sweaty, her face mid orgasm. Darcy rubbing herself off on camera that time he was away on mission for a week and she video chatted him.

There were also a lot of detailed observational drawings of her hands, her face and and her hair. There were at least three pages in his sketchbook dedicated to various sketches of her kraken ring on her left pinkie. Her glasses also featured often.

There was also the occasional sketch of a tree or a mug or various buildings in the city, but this book was mostly the paper version of his ‘spank bank.’ (Once again, thank you urban dictionary.)

He still kept the sketchbook hidden under his dress pants, well he did until he got a text when he was on his way home from a mission.  It was a picture of his sketchbook. Two seconds later his phone buzzed again as he tried to keep his blush in check, lest Tony ask him who he was texting.

_‘found it while doing laundry, im making ur closet more space effish.’_

He hoped she wouldn’t think it was creepy as he sent his answer.

 _‘Be my guest. I’ll be home in 20 min.’_ He felt his face heat slightly as he imagined her looking through his sketches, seeing herself as he saw her.

“Booty call, Cap? What’s the hurry?”

“Goodbye Tony.” Steve didn’t even bother turning around to face Tony. He’d seen enough of his face on their three days long mission.

“Have fun!” Sam called after him as Steve left the Tower.

When he returned home he saw his sketchbook open on his coffee table to the drawing of Darcy in the shower, hair a wet tangle and cheeks shaded darker to show her flushed with pleasure, eyes closed as she gripped the shower head mount.

Her pants and socks were discarded between his couch and bedroom. Her sweater, tee and bra were on his bedroom floor, and he hastily stripped himself as he heard her soft moan over the shower running.

“Steve,” she called out, breath catching on the V.

“Here,” he told her as he slipped into the bathroom. “Let me help you with that,” he offered, stepping into the shower behind her and replacing her hand with his over her sex. She'd obviously been rubbing herself for the last few minutes, and he closed his eyes as he savored the feel of her slick, hot flesh. 

“God I missed you,” she breathed as she leaned back into him, gripping his neck and stroking the arm he had over her stomach.

“Missed you too, Darce,” he groaned as she arched her back, pressing her bum into his erection. He picked up the pace of his fingers, finding the spots he knew she liked the best and giving them steady pressure.

She moaned and turned her head, lips searching his.

“Been almost a week, no word from you,” she whimpered out as he crowded her against the cold tiles. She reached for his dick, warm and wet hands sliding over him, grasping him firmly as she pumped him.

“Darcy, I’m not gonna last,” he admitted. He was too damn tired, the last time he slept was with her in his arms before he was called to Assemble. And the intimate touches, the hot water on his back, the feeling he got when he was finally home, coupled up with everything about the woman in his arms, were all a little too much for him.

His serum enhanced body was only just now starting to let go of the adrenaline he’d had in battle hours ago.

“Hard and fast?” she rasped, combing her hand through his hair and pulling slightly in time with her hand pumping him.

“Hard and fast,” he agreed, using his foot to kick her legs further apart and moving his hands to her hips.

She bent over and braced herself against the tiles as he entered her from behind.

“Missed you,” she gasped again, moaning as he picked up the pace.

“Missed you,” he parroted back, too far gone to construct his own sentences. He’d been thinking about this, about her, since he left. Thinking about holding her in the quiet moments between HYDRA attacks. Wondering what she was doing when he had a moment to catch his breath.

“God, I love you,” he mumbled, and she keened. “I love you,” he repeated, lifting her leg up for a better angle as he sped up.

“Oh, oh God, Steve. I-” she gasped and cut herself off with a moan, one of her hands went down to rub her clit.

“Darce-” he muttered, chanting her name in time with his thrusts. He felt her thigh tremble in his hand and knew she was close.

“Come,” he growled at her, still not having completely put Cap away. “Come now.”

And she did with a shout, fluttering around him as her knee went weak. He held her still with his hands as he bottomed into her over and over, fast and hard. Letting her ride out her orgasm as he came with her.

“Welcome home,” she muttered, sounding as exhausted as he felt when he set her leg down and slipped out of her.

He smiled, loving the way she said it. “You’re home to me,” he mumbled and yawned.

She smiled brightly as she coaxed him back under the spray and quickly helped wash him, guiding his tired-ass out to the bedroom and into his bed when they were both clean and somewhat dry.

He hooked an arm around her waist and cuddled up to her like a teddy bear.

“When you wake up, I’ll order a couple pizzas,” she promised, holding his head to her chest and combing his wet hair back from his face.

“God, I love you,” he told her, closing his eyes and letting blessed unconsciousness take him. “No olives though.”

*

It took nine months. Nine months after their first weekend, before she told him she loved him back.

They were lounging in his living room, listening to her iPod playing over the speakers she brought over from her own apartment and set up on his retro records player. He was reading a book she’d recommended, his head in her lap as she absentmindedly played with his hair and read through something on her phone, as they waited for the lasagna to finish. The whole scene was rather domestic and Steve loved it.

Darcy put her phone down and looked around the room and then down at him, giving his hair a little tug and he let his book flop down on his chest to give her his undivided attention.

“You never moved the furniture,” she said in an accusatory tone.

He raised his eyebrows, “you said this was more space efficient,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but I’m a chatterbox, I say a lot of crap. And you barely knew me. We’d only fucked about as many times as we’d had polite exchanges in the hallways at Stark Tower, and yet, you let me move your furniture around.”

He raised his eyebrows at that statement.

“ _Fine_ ,” she amended with an eyeroll, “you moved your own furniture around to where I told you to put them. You have super muscles, though, just saying. But you could have moved it all back when I left.”

“You left for work and returned after that with dinner, there wasn’t exactly a lot of time, dear.”

She rolled her eyes, “but if I hadn’t gone back, would you have left the furniture like this?”

He looked around and considered her question, he could not imagine having it any other way now, but he remembered it took a week to get used to it after she changed it. “Yes.”

“Good.” She smiled. “That was a test by the way.” She shrugged and picked his book off his chest to check how far he’d come.

“A test?”

“Yeah,” she placed the book back on his chest and shrugged again. “I like doing something to change it up for people, to leave a mark. Nothing permanent, but it’s nice to know that you don’t need markings on your skin to impact someone’s life. If you’d opened that door and I’d seen your apartment put back the way it was before I was there, with all traces of me gone, I would have never invited myself in for dinner. I would have gotten your message and given you my groceries before I ran out of there.” She turned to her phone again, “I might have kept the groceries even,” she mused.

“Of course you would,” he laughed. “There was Strawberry Cheesecake flavoured ice cream in there, your two favourite things combined. You’d never leave it with me if I pretended that amazing weekend never happened.”

“Damn straight,” she nodded, then looked up from her phone with wide eyes.

“What?” He asked her, thinking over what he’d said, not remembering anything alarming about their conversation.

“Oh, just, I love you, too.” She shrugged and went back to her e-book.

He frowned and sat up, snatching her phone away and placing it and his book on the coffee table, glaring at her until she met his gaze.

“What?”

“You can’t just do that,” he told her incredulously, ecstatic beyond belief. “You can’t just casually _declare your love_ then _shrug it off_ like it didn’t happen!”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make a big deal out of this, Steve.”

“It _is_ a big deal!” He laughed, love filling him up like a warm balloon in his chest. “The girl I love _finally_ admits she loves me back after two months -no, _seven_ months- of me dreading that she might never say it!” He kissed her, happily. Laughing with her, loving the jovial feeling and bubbling giddiness they encased themselves in.

“Say it again,” he demanded, tearing himself away and watching her close, wanting to see her gorgeous lips form the words as her eyes shone up at him like this; big and bright.

“I love you, Steve.” She smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too”

“I know that, you dork, now shut up and kiss me.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” He saluted and quickly got back to it, enthusiastically kissing the living daylights out of her.

*

After that they tentatively started telling people they were together.

Okay so Darcy tentatively did that, Steve almost started shouting it from the rooftops.

Darcy was almost angry to find that almost none of the their closest friends found this remotely surprising.

“What did you expect? Your friends are either spies or Tony ‘ _busybody_ ’ Stark,” Jane pointed out to Darcy after she ranted about it in the lab.

Steve smiled, “that’s what I told her months ago!” He exclaimed over Darcy’s head, winking as Jane struggled to keep her smile hidden.

“Don’t you start,” Darcy warned him, spinning around to fix him with her warning glare, but he swooped in and kissed the pout off her lips.

“Here’s your coffee, hun. See you for dinner.” He handed her the thermos she’d forgotten on his counter that morning and kissed her once more just because he could.

It seemed he was not the only one who relished in this new freedom, as Darcy wrapped the arm not holding the thermos around his neck and pressed herself into him. He smiled and brought his hands up to cup her face, before he cupped something not entirely appropriate for an audience. Darcy was smiling as she deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth and he ignored Jane’s snort in favour of letting one hand slide down to her waist, holding her even closer.

“Bless you for coming out in public!” The previously mentioned Busybody interrupted their PDA  as he came strutting into the lab like he owned the place (which, to be fair, he did.)

Darcy blushed and stepped back, hesitating only a second before her hand darted out to swipe the lipstick off from under his bottom lip. Steve smiled and caught her hand, kissing the back of it and winking before he left the lab.

“Tony,” he nodded as he passed the man, keeping a straight face as Tony beamed up at him as if it was Christmas morning.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to tease you about this?!” Tony yelled after him. “Now I totally can! Finally! Hey, Short-and-stacked-” he continued as Steve stepped into the elevator.

“One crack about me defiling a national icon before I’ve drank the contents of this thermos and I won’t hesitate to use my taser on you.”

“I gave you that!” Tony gasped.

Steve laughed as the elevator doors closed behind him.  

*

Sam and Maria congratulated them, telling them they’d known since before Steve even mentioned having a girl to Sam four months previously.

“You don’t get to be the director of a spy organisation when you don’t notice that your Superhero-team leader is dating one of your high level employees.” Maria shrugged, and Darcy had to admit later that they hadn’t been too subtle.

“I mean, I never spend two nights in a row at my apartment anymore,” she ranted as she wrapped up the leftovers. “We both live alone so there were no use for excuses  and sneaking around. And we aren’t exactly quiet, as my neighbour said in that note she pinned to my door.”

Steve laughed at the memory. The only night they had spent in Darcy’s closet of an apartment had been cramped but sexy as hell. But she was right, she never really spent a night there anymore.

She should just move in with him.

*

A few days later she was complaining about her super around her toothbrush.

“It’s not too much to ask to have a functioning sink! He finally came around today to fix it and kept treating me like a silly little girl, suggesting I should just move back to my parents.” She furiously spat and took out her floss-box. “That fucker barely let that place out to me when he realised my name was Darcy Lewis and not Louis Darcy.”

Steve picked up the clothes she’d discarded on various furniture around the room and threw them in the hamper, debating with himself whether he should ask her or not.

It was with trepidation that he forced himself to casually suggest; “You could just move in with me.”

She froze, the tiny cup of mouthwash halfway to her mouth, and looked intently at him over her shoulder in the mirror.

He leaned against the doorframe and shrugged as casually as he could. “The rent is cheaper if we split it and my super isn’t a misogynistic chizz trying to exploit me. Plus your lease is up in three weeks, right? And you never sleep there anyway...” He scratched the back of his neck and forced himself to be quiet instead of reciting the 28 point list of reasons why she should stay.

“Well,” she said thoughtfully, looking from him down to her cup and throwing it back. She almost killed with suspense as she took her time swishing her mouthwash around and gurgling before she finally spat it out and continued; “yeah, why not?”

He smiled his earsplitting grin and saw it mirrored on her face.

“Great, we’ll go out and get some boxes and I’ll put some of my old junk in storage and have you moved in here officially by Friday,” he positively gushed as he scooped her up in his arms and kissed all over her face.

" _Chizz_?" She asked him later as they were almost dozing off to sleep. 

"Why don't you google it." He smirked into her hair, and had to forcibly hold his laugh as she tried to do so inconspicuously, her phone screen lighting up her silhouette. 

"You could have just said [swindler..](http://www.vintageallies.com/1930s/1930s-slang.html)." she mumbled as she put the phone away.

"Tony saw me look up _DTF_ on urban dictionary, so _no_." 

*

They didn’t get further than picking out boxes before Steve’s world was flipped around in just five seconds.

Once they had bought and bagged the boxes needed for storing his junk and moving hers, they returned to the apartment only to find his couch occupied.

“Bucky?” Steve dropped the flatpacked boxes on the floor.

“Oh-” Darcy said, taking in the assassin in full combat gear sitting on her fluffy, unicorn blanket.

Bucky was here. In his living room. On his couch. He was home.

His heart went in a million directions at once. He was happy to have Bucky back. To see his soulmate again. To have proof that he was physically all right instead of having to rely on Natasha’s occasional text updates. He was furious that Bucky hadn’t called ahead, warned them before popping by, but glad to see him. He wanted to close the space between them, take those three long strides and wrap his arms around him, hold him and kiss him till he could no longer remember why the thought made him feel guilty.

Because he also felt guilt. Guilt and rage and confusion. And most of all; resignation. It was nagging at the back of his thoughts.

Because Bucky hadn’t just showed up unannounced in Steve’s living room. Darcy lived here too.

He looked behind him and saw her biting her lip and focusing on a spot above Bucky’s shoulder. Any moment now, this blank expression and silence would morph into a fumbling, awkward intern and she would make her excuse and leave, not wanting to deal with drama. He needed to resolve this. To make sure all parties here knew exactly what their status was.

“You’ve redecorated,” Bucky stated after a considerable long silence. He looked around at the rearranged furniture with a blank expression as Steve gathered his thoughts to focus on the conversation.

“Yeah,” Steve said faintly, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at Darcy. “It’s more space efficient like this,” he mumbled.

Bucky nodded.

Darcy shuffled her feet, queue awkward-fumbling-intern. “Er, I need to go, there is a, um,” she belatedly whipped out her phone and Steve could swear she almost said ‘beep beep’ as she looked at the screen without even turning it on. “There is a lab emergency,” she told them, cringing at the lie as she obviously knew they didn’t believe her. She started backing out of the door that she still hadn’t closed behind them.

“Darcy-” Steve started to protest.

“No, no. It’s okay,” Darcy snatched her StarkID and keys from the bowl by his door where she’d left them after work earlier that day. “I’ll leave you two to it.”  And with that she was gone, running down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. He wanted to run after her, tell Bucky to go away and call first like a normal person. But he could see in the skittish way his eyes jumped around and his muscles were tense though his pose was laidback, that Bucky was about three seconds away from disappearing forever. But he’d come back. And Steve was curious.

Bucky glanced between Steve and the space Darcy had occupied with a meaningful raise of his eyebrows.

“I’ll talk to her later.” _After I talk to you._

“Jane’s assistant?” Bucky asked after a moment of awkward silence.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed and closed the front door behind him. “We’re going steady.”

Bucky nodded again. “You guys Waiting, or?”

“No. It’s- she means more-” Steve struggled to find the words, everything sounded defensive. “You left,” he settled on. “We were done. I didn’t think you would be back, at least not like before.”

Bucky was silent as he contemplated this.

“She know it’s serious?” He asked, face still blank.

“Yeah.”

“So she ain’t just using you as she waits for her own soulmate then?” Bucky narrowed his eyes.

“She’s unmarked, Buck.”

“James,” Buc-James corrected as a reflex. Quick, effortless and without a thought. He’d obviously not been called by his nickname since he left almost three years ago. Steve wondered if anyone he’d met knew to call him Bucky. Natasha maybe, the first year she tried unsuccessfully to reach out to him. Perhaps it was calling him James that had prompted him to let her in.

“James, sorry,” Steve said, hearing his own voice getting an airy quality to it and cleared his throat.

James shrugged. They fell silent again and Steve started straightening up the place a little. He and Darcy weren’t slobs, but their living space was comfortable and a little shabby compared to his and Bucky’s living spaces. First with the few belongings in the depression, then with the army strictness. Darcy though, was a free and messy spirit and Steve kinda loved that he could be a different version of himself around her. When the dishwasher was emptied and refilled and James still hadn’t said anything he started to worry though.

Going back to the couch, Steve sat on the opposite end and waited for James to say and ask what he wanted.

“I Waited Natalia while I was gone,” James finally said. Steve nodded, Natasha had told him this. She’d asked his permission as a matter of fact, telling him she respected him as a leader and partner and that wouldn't ever change if he said he didn’t want Bucky to wait with anyone. Steve had just started having regular ‘sexcapades’ with Darcy (her word. Urban dictionary was currently at the top of his 'most visited' page...) and thought Bucky and Natasha deserved their own fun.

“We were in a tight spot outside Istanbul and I guess some of our, uh, feelings from the Red Room came back. We never said it was serious, she’s unmarked too. All operatives of the Red Room were, and if they ever got their marks as they grew up, they would quickly be eliminated, all to get rid of weakness and blindspots. I guess it’s a good thing that my mark was on my left arm.”

James looked at his metal wrist, the spot where -on his human hand- the mark used to be.

“I know we are still soulmates, Steve, but you’ve clearly moved on and I don’t even have your mark anymore.” _It's still there though, even if its invisible._

“I’ll never be over you,” Steve told him, searching his face, needing him to know this was not an easy decision. “I love Darcy, don’t get me wrong, I can easily imagine spending the rest of my life with her, but you are my soulmate and I will always love you.” He scratched his neck, trying to put to his feelings into words. “It’s not the same between her and me, as it was between the two of us.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” James guessed. Steve nodded.

“I love you, I love her. But while I feel like the cosmos made us magnets, made it impossible not to love you, no matter who you are. Bucky, James, it doesn’t matter, I still love you. But sometimes you realise that loving someone means letting them go.”

“Yes.” James nodded. “It sucks though.”

“Yeah, it does,” Steve agreed. “But good things still happen. I met Darcy, I fell head over heels for her. It’s not the same earth shattering love that we had, but it’s good, it’s strong and I love it almost as much as I love her. It’s a great love for a lifetime, and I got to _choose_.” He looked up at James, seeing him fix his stare on the ipod dock station on his record player, deep in thought.

“I’ve learned a lot about choice for the past three years,” Steve continued. “You had yours taken away from you for a long time and then we were reunited and you got to make your own decisions. I didn’t understand at the time, but Darcy’s helped me realise that it’s not always about Faith or Destiny. It was finally you who made your own decisions and I almost took that away by holding on too tight. And for that I am sorry.”

Bucky was still looking away, taking in what he was saying. He reached out and let his hand rest lightly on James’ shoulder, as if the contact would help him find the right words. “The universe can fuck off, James. And even though it’s hard, I’ll gladly help you send a big, fat ‘screw you’ to faith.”

Bucky looked back at him, eyes big and glassy, and Steve could feel the relief radiating off him, positively vibrating from his shoulder and up Steve’s arm. The relief that Steve understood. Of course he understood, _I am your soulmate, I’m the one person made to get you._

“I should probably find Natalia and tell her I’m head over heels for her,” James sighed after a minute.

Steve patted the shoulder. “Yeah, and I need to find Darcy before she convinces herself that I am leaving her for you.”

“You do that, punk.” James nodded again.

It was strange, splitting like this, with no tears or angry shouting or guilt and pain.

Ok, so there was pain. An a hollow sort of feeling. But he knew this was the right thing and James knew it too. This was one of the great things about soulmates; the instinctive understanding.

“We are still soulmates though,” Steve told him as they stood up.

“Yes, just more like brothers again. Like when we were kids, before hormones and emotions and HYDRA fucked shit up,” James agreed.

Steve bit his lip and brought his best friend and other half of him into a long, bone crushing hug, saying all he wanted to have said with that embrace.

James accepted it and, after a good minute, thumped him twice on the back to tell him he got it.

“I’m never going to be able to think of you as a brother again though, fair warning,” Steve told him as he moved back.

“That’s alright, as long as you’re with me in some way.”

“To the end of the line, you know that yah jerk.” Steve smirked at him. James rolled his eyes.

“Come on, punk, let’s go get our girls.”

*

They went to the tower first, finding Natasha, then Steve let James talk with her as he left for the labs in search of Darcy.

She wasn’t there though, so he started looking for her, annoyed and slightly panicked when the AI wouldn’t help him, telling him that Darcy asked not to to have her privacy violated.

After knocking on all the doors to the places she might be and not finding her, he went out to her place in Bronx. She wasn’t there either.

He called Sam and asked him if he knew where she was, he didn’t.

He called Darcy a dozen times without an answer.

He called James, he called Natasha, he called Jane and Thor, but no one knew where she was.

He didn’t start a manhunt, just told them to let him know if they saw her, and that she was probably just hiding in some bookstore or library.

He tried tracking the GPS on her phone but she’d switched it off. He remembered that it was Wednesday and called Clint, but the Avenger had his phone off too.

Adding two and two together he headed towards Bed-Stuy and called Natasha again. Never having been in Clint’s apartment he got the address from her and an offer to track her down if he didn't find her there.

When he knocked on Clint’s door he could hear a muffled conversation between him and Darcy, and relief flooded him, almost making him weak in the knees.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Clint said through the door.

“Please, Darcy, I need to see you,” Steve begged through the closed door.

“She has her headphones on dude, even _I_ can hear the music.”

Steve focused his hearing and heard the tell-tale noise of her _Murder_ playlist.

“Tell her I love her, Clint, and I chose her. And when she’s ready I’ll be home putting my junk in storage to make room for her junk.”

There was silence on the other side and Steve wondered if Clint had taken his hearing aid out and how mad he’d be if Steve broke his door.

“I’ll tell her, as soon as she unlocks the bathroom door,” he finally answered.

“Thanks Clint.” Steve sighed and made his way home.

When he opened his front door he could immediately see that something was different. The whole space seemed kind of sparse and spartan. Gone were the multi colored blankets and knick knacks that used to brighten the place, and the hot pink bean bag that used to be by the bookshelves.

Darcy had come in during the hour or so he’d spent searching for her, collected all her stuff and moved out, leaving him.

No. Leaving him enough space to move Bucky in.

It damn near broke his heart when he realized just how fragile Darcy’s trust in them was. How little she believed their feelings could stand any chance to soulmates.

Slamming the front door behind him he went straight back to Clint’s place and banged on the door, ignoring Clint's protests and threatened to break it down unless he opened it.

“Fuck’s sake, Steve,” Darcy seethed when she yanked the door open just as he was about to rip it off the goddamn hinges. “Why are you making this so hard _mfph_ -” He didn’t let her finish, just gathered her in his arms and kissed her like his life depended on it.

“I love you,” he reminded her when they broke for air. “I chose you and I’ll fight for you, for us.”

“But you said-” she protested weakly.

“I know what I said. I didn’t want to lie to you, but Bucky- James- and I agree that we really are never getting back together. I’m with _you_ , I love _you_ and nothing is going to change that.”

“But Bucky-” she still protested.

“I will always love him, and I am still his soulmate, but I love you too and I am fighting for you, so _please_ , Darcy; let me win.”

She looked at him, tears in her big beautiful eyes, and bit her lip.

”Yeah,” she sobbed and grabbed onto him, kissing him back and winding her limbs around him as he picked her off the floor. “I love you, too.”

Relief flooded him and as he took the three steps over to the kitchen counter and sat her down so he could free his hands, reassuring himself that she was there and she was his. He let his hands roam all over her, combing through her hair, down her back, over her arms and down her hips and thighs. A loud cough behind him made him tear his mouth away from her collarbone.

“Let’s get these boxes and your bean bag back to _our_ place before I make love to you on Clint’s kitchen island.”

“Yeah, okay,” she smiled breathlessly, and he knew they were going to do it on their own kitchen counter the moment they got back.

“Let’s go home Steve.” She smiled and he wiped her tears from her cheek.

“You matter Darcy, no ink in the world should ever convince you otherwise.”

 

*

_"This whole soulmate hype is overrated." Darcy said, snuggling further into his chest._

_"Yeah?" Steve asked, tracing the ink on her hip with his fingertips._

_“Yeah, not only is it utter bullshit that a person cannot be whole all on their own, but I can’t even imagine finding your soulmate and knowing that’s it. No matter what kind of person they are, they are the one for you. Like, imagine if it weren’t the first words that were tattooed into the other’s skin. If everybody had pretty pictures…” she trailed off, covering his hand with hers where it was still tracing the big, beautiful kraken tattoo she’d gotten on her hip years ago, while they still lived in their first apartment. “If everybody had pictures, then you could interpret for yourself whether the other person’s tattoo matched yours or not.”_

_Her left hand slid down from his chest to the ship he’d tattooed on his own hip the same time she’d gotten her tattoo, the stones all around her wedding ring scratching his skin slightly, he shivered._

_“Everybody would get to choose whether the other person was right for them or not, instead of leaving it up to the universe.”_

_“Like you did?” He asked her._

_“Yeah, well, it’s not the same because everybody else were too fixed on their soulmarks, but essentially; yes. I got to choose, and I chose you.” She smiled and bumped his nose with hers._

_“I did too,” Steve reminded her, and smiled as their lips met. "I chose you, too."_

*

**I do not need someone to complete me**

**but if you wanted to**

**we could walk next to each other**

**into whatever is coming next.**

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it, thats the fic. Thank you all again for your wonderful support! Hope you have a great DarcySteveMonth onwards! 
> 
> Any questions or any loose ends you see that I completely missed, please let me know!
> 
> I'm forevergingeratheart on tumblr, and I just made a fanart/fanfic blog thing called hannahsfandos where I'll be doing art prompts all weekend :) 
> 
> Come over and prompt my ass (on that art blog) so I can do some actual drawing, which, for a visual art student, I have not been doing too much of lately. And I need to do something creative that does not involve eggs and pigment powder, nor that foul smelling canvas-prepp-thing. 
> 
> /Please do go check my hannahsfandos blog though as i have a total of 0 followers and would really like to draw for yah ;) /
> 
>  
> 
> ((I would also like to thank urban dictionary bc seriously I use it more than Steve.))


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